Gross Moment

Saturday was laundry day. I had just dumped out my freshly cleaned clothes from the basket onto my bed. I was picking through the pile and folding them while watching TV. I reached into the pile and pulled out a pair of black boxer brief underwear. Ummm…one small problem. I don’t wear black boxer briefs. GROSS! Someone’s underwear got mixed into my clothes in the laundry room. AAAGGGHHH! I suspect it was left behind in the dryer since I didn’t see it when I took my clothes out of the washer. Rude.

So I stood there thinking what am I gonna do with the underwear that clearly belongs to one of my neighbors. I thought well I could just throw them away and pretend it never happened. But, then I thought well that’s a not very neighborly thing to do. So I decided to just put them back into the laundry room and hopefully the owner of the underpants sees them and is like “Sweet. That’s my underwear” and takes them home. And we all pretend it never happened. The problem is that every time I’ve gone down to the laundry room there has been someone in there. I’m not going to leave them there with someone in there. I’d look freakin crazy. Or with my luck, rumors would start that I’m some sicko underwear thief returning to the scene of the crime. So now this stranger’s pair of underwear has been sitting on a box in my living room for the past 5 days like a bizarre trophy. Nothing is every easy. I’m just going to go and throw them away tonight when I get home. I’m down with the whole thing. I tried, I failed, I’m done. I’m a bad neighbor.

just another monday

i sit here at work
watching house hunters on hgtv
my mom and i
used to watch this show
when she was sick

the host is suzanne whang
whang pronounced like wrong
and my mom would laugh
and say
two whangs don’t make a right
and i would laugh

i miss my mom
every second
of every day

on rosie’s blog
a blogger asked…
“if you could tell your mom one thing about your life now, what would it be?”
rosie said…
“happy had puppies”

i get it
i so completely and totally get it
the void left when the person dies
who knew you for your entire life
is unfillable and unfixable
it cannot be expressed or understood

it’s not just the major events of life
missed
it’s the little everyday moments
missed
that hurt more

most of the time
it still doesn’t seem to be real
almost three years later

i haven’t been able to write much lately
i feel stuck
in a rut
unable to shake free

i need a change
to find color
in the black and white

everything has become
routine
my life
my friends
my family
all the same

i’m still searching
to find
exactly where
i belong

how does one
reinvent
their life?

Baby I'm Burning - Vintage Dolly clips from the '80's

Isabella's Birthday Party! Strike!

This was from Saturday, December 8, 2007.

The moment before my self esteem hit the gutter.

Isabella turned four years old today. Amazing. I cannot believe it! I remember the day this little peanut was born and it seems like it was just yesterday.

She had her birthday party at a bowling alley. Now, I was prepared to dominate to game with my mad bowling skills. Yes, it's true. I was a junior leaguer for a couple of weeks in my youth. I definately know my way about a bowling alley. Well, sad to say....dreams were crushed today. Bowling is clearly not my forte. And my hand hurts. It's not easy being destroyed by four year old kids.

No Isabella...Princess Belle is not edible. Put the Princess down and back away from the table.

"Look into my eyes Uncle Jason...look into my eyes. You will give me your piece of cake. You are getting sleepy."

No one gets inbetween baby and her cake. No one!

Cake makes everything better!

Elevator Out Of Order: Part One. A Day of Reckoning!

Upon leaving work on Wednesday, January 2, 2008 we were met with this ugly little sign that was posted on the elevators at work for the parking ramp. Now there were no other signs on display about this cruel twist of fate, no warning when we came into work that morning and parked in the great heights of the parking ramp, no nothing...just this little "you're screwed" piece of paper tacked up with scotch tape. (By the way...check the date on the note. Clearly the elevator should have been fixed by now or at least a new note with updated information.)

On Level 8 I wanted to die. I think I need to start making more healthy choices in my life. The air was starting to thin a little bit and my vision started to fade some.

Right when I was about to give up all hope and just sit down and wait to die Jamie and George came along on Level 10 to light the flame in me to keep fighting and to keep pushing on. Sadly we would not all make it to our desintation. Someone would be lost along the way.

I fell behind as we neared Level 12 and was left for dead. Would my cries for help be heard? Or would I be lost forever?

STAY TUNED....

Elevator Out Of Order: Part Two.

Jamie lends a helping hand as I struggle to go the distance.

Unable to continue the epic hike up the 1600 Utica Parking Ramp, Jamie makes the ultimate sacrifice and tries to carry me to safety. Incase you were wondering what happened to George, well sadly we ate him on Level 10. Survival of the fittest.

Upon reaching Level 12 of the parking ramp, the air was so thin that I passed out. Much like Star Jones when she was in Denver before she started working out and doing pilates **ahem, bullshit, cough cough**.