sometime around midnight

and it starts
sometime around midnight
or at least that’s when
you lose yourself
for a minute or two

at target
two little girls running
beyond excited
wearing brand new backpacks
excited for school in the fall

one girl
hardly bigger than her backpack
glowing
her sister
thrilled

i miss my youth
life was black and white
right and wrong
yes and no
now life is
gray
morally
emotionally
a line drawn and crossed
if i knew then what i know now….

i’ve been trying to lose weight
down a total of 41 pounds so far
fell off the wagon the past two weeks
still falling
food is a false comfort

tensions rampant
stress from every angle
drowning man without a life preserver

ruby
on style network
a real reality star – contradiction of terms
her goal is to get under 350 pounds
as she shrinks her soul
she radiates life

ruby says
“I thought maybe…just maybe someone could love me for me.”
my heart hopes for the same thing
i turn thirty-five in a few days
still hoping….

tomorrow i will
face the damage
inflicted upon myself
yet again
the scale never lies

i will try to forgive
and try again
one step forward
three stumbles backwards
and maybe along the way finally learn to love myself

mat kearney
a musical hero of mine
whom i have met three times now
i requested a song
he sang it
jewel did the same
“Thump Thump” in concert
my life is surreal in every sense of the word

how can i be so high
and so low
so happy
and so sad
at the same time?
there is no middle ground
i am a creature of extremes
always have been

a college professor once said to me…
“The dichotomy of your life is amazing. One day you are face down in a swamp. The next day you are in New York working for Rosie O’Donnell”

those words will stay with me for a lifetime

and you walk
under the streetlights
and your too drunk to notice
that everyone is staring at you
you don’t care what you look like
the world is falling
around you

I "heart" Katy Perry

So “Hot N Cold” is one of the best pop songs ever written. I want it played at my funeral along with Madonna’s “Like A Prayer”. No lie.

Katy Perry was in our studio yesterday to do a special promotional event for KDWB and I was lucky enough to attend. She sang four songs…”Waking Up In Vegas”, “Hot N Cold”, “Thinking of You”, and “Mannequin”. If you know me, you know that “Hot N Cold” is one of my all time favorite songs ever. I dance like crazy to it. If a doctor saw me, I would probably be committed to an insane asylum or something. I can’t help myself. I dance to it all the time at work. Sometimes I even have a dance party with a few co-workers.

So I find a spot in the performance room with some of my friends and I’m in the back corner and it’s really dark. Katy starts to sing “Hot N Cold”. I held it together for about three measures and then I lost it. I danced like a crazy mofo. It was dark. No one was behind me. I was in the corner. I couldn’t help myself. I danced, and danced, and danced. Katy kept looking over and I figured that she was looking at the people down in the chairs ahead of us because it was so dark. I don’t care…I’m having the time of my life.

After the performance and interview they announce that there will be a quick meet and greet and photos. Everyone lines up to meet Katy. So I walk up to Katy and Allison (the record label rep) introduces me as “This is Jason, he works here and he is also a comedian.” Katy looks at me and says “Oh cool. Nice to meet you. You were the one dancing in the back!” Unreal. I didn’t think she could see me because it was so dark and I was in the back corner. I was wrong. She saw me. Then Katy looks at me and says “You really liked the “Hot N Cold” song”.

And this is how the rest of our meeting went…

JASON: Ah yeah. It’s one of my all time favorites. My heart grew three times while you sang it.

KATY: Your heart?

JASON: Yes, my heart.

KATY: This heart? (She puts her hand on my chest over my heart.)

JASON: That would be the one.

KATY: Oh you are so sweet.

JASON: Thank you for doing the show.

KATY: You’re welcome.

We take the picture.

Now…I also had her CD with me for her to hopefully autograph. So I waited until everyone had done their pictures and whatnot with her. Allison comes over and asks if I have the CD and then Katy walks over and just starts talking. I tell Katy that I was at her showcase here at KDWB a year ago before the album dropped and that it must have been a really crazy year for her. So we talk a little bit about everything that has happened in the past year. Then I asked if she would sign my CD. She said of course she would. So Allison hands her my CD and while we are chatting Katy autographs my CD with “To My Tiny Dancer Jason! Nice to see you again! Love, Katy Perry”. Ok, seriously…how insanely awesome is that? That’s wild! So I say good bye and return to my desk.

A little while later I was helping a confused winner (They are always confused. I love it when they come in for tickets for a band that’s not even on freakin’ tour.) and Katy Perry walks up behind me. Now, I had been talking to the winner for so long that I hadn’t been using my computer so it was on the screen saver picture of Kathy Griffin and me. Yes, I totally have pictures of famous people as my computer screen saver photos. Let’s face it…famous people are just better than the rest of us. Anyways…Katy sees the picture and says…

KATY: Is that Kathy Griffin?

JASON: Yes, it is.

KATY: Kathy Griffin? From the DList?

JASON: Sure is.

KATY: No way! I love her. I love the DList.

JASON: Me too!

KATY: That’s so cool.

JASON: Well, now the picture of us is going to have to be the next screen saver.

KATY: Shut up!

JASON: I’m serious! And, Katy, it’s a pretty big deal. There have only been three people who have been screen savers before. They were Katy Griffin, Simon LeBon, Dolly Parton. And now you.

KATY: Umm…I have a Dolly Parton drag queen in my new video. Big titties.

JASON: For “Waking Up In Vegas”? I’m so going to watch for it.

KATY: Oh thank you!

JASON: No problem.

KATY: It was Jason, right?

JASON: Ah, you remembered! Clearly we are BFF’s.

KATY: Yes…for forever and a day! Bye!

JASON: Bye!

And then she left. I love my life sometimes. Katy was amazing…so down to Earth and sincere. If you ever get a chance to see her perform, don’t pass it up or you will regret it. No doubt about that.

By the way, all my co-workers saw me dancing like crazy. I guess they were pointing me out to each other. Oh, I was blissfully unaware that anyone could even see me. So dumb. I am such a nerd. Unreal.

more than a dream - pet shop boys

driving through the night
just you and me
faster than the pale moonlight
something is calling
calling us away
do you believe
heaven is a better place
we'll be there in a heartbeat

Updates Coming!

Updates for the blog are coming! Great stories of Jewel, Indigo Girls, Katy Perry are on the way! As well as some fun stand up comedy adventures and more.

Life has been crazy busy but I'm working on getting everything updated in the next day or two. So please check back soon!

2009

Happy New Year Bitches!

Happy Holidays! Isabella and Miguel meet Santa.

All is fine.
Miguel grows suspicious.

Miguel loses his mind.

Santa goes numb and Isabella is ready for her close up.

Merry Christmas!

Isabella and Santa on Christmas Eve

Will Smith Photos

On December 12, Will Smith was in the studios doing some promotion for his new movie "Seven Pounds". People went apeshit crazy. I haven't seen people lose it like this since I worked at The Rosie O'Donnell Show. Insane. Here are some crowd shots from the lobby of the building.

Am I A Chosen One?

On December 5th, I was eating lunch and had a "low-fat, low-calorie, doesn't really taste like anything pudding cup" for dessert. I put the pudding cup down after eating all it's not-so-delicious contents and I was shocked to see a face staring back at me. Some pudding stuck to the lid and made a face. Clearly, it's a sign. FREAKY! I feel bad for the person who found the Virgin Mary in their grilled cheese and was mocked for it. I swear if I find the face of Jesus in my cottage cheese I will lose it. I am too lazy to be a messenger for the Lord. Then to make things worse, as I was showing everyone the pudding started to melt a little bit and ended up looking like The Joker from "The Dark Knight". Sinister, indeed. A sign from above or below? You decide.

pilgrim

cross the threshold
pilgrim on a journey

the promise
of a new day
stirs the soul
the spirit
awakens

change
difficult at best
crucial
to grow

we all have crosses to carry
the sins of the past
the uncertainty of the future
the doubt of the present
one same as many

those before you
blazed the trail
reap the rewards
of their war
all
their losses
their victories
their wounds
their scars
for you

those behind you
unmet
unknown
unaware
will thank you
when the day breaks
as they begin for themselves
the journey
you are now on
whether you know it or not

the masses will praise you
on a new day

some day

no map
no compass
no star
to guide
your way

only your soul
knows the path
the heart and the brain
wage an eternal war
of what it wants
of what is real
of what it will deny
in the end
the heart will prevail
truth
sets us all free

stumble
fall
cry
rise
over and over and over
find your way

you are not alone
no man is an island
even in the darkness
when all you see
is
loss
misery
pain

others are here
waiting
when the light comes
you will see
you
were
never
alone

see me
hear me
feel me
believe me
trust me

i am here

gather your courage
pin it to your heart
muster your strength
pulse through your body
breathe
leap
soar

daybreak
the darkness
retreats

you are loved

jump

seasons change
winter spring summer fall
back to winter again
the clock ticks
relentless
unforgiving

first snowfall of the season
daybreak covered in white
not unexpected
but always a surprise

a melancholy of sorts
invades the soul

life not from the movies
or tv
false dreams sold with a laugh track
and applause
of how it should be
not how it is

always dreamed of the
gatherings
celebrations
festivities
of the perfect life
a life well lived

surrounded by people
evidence you are loved

a ship at sea
lost
floating
drifting
forgotten

a random moment
changes the course

on the black horizon
light
hope
faith
found

a hand extended
grab and hold

light pierces the darkness
find your way
i am here
you are not alone
you will heal

a connection
long thought lost

you said…
jump in with both feet

as we stand on the edge

maybe this time
it will be
different
seasons change