thirty four

thirty-four years
strange in so many ways
feeling younger
feeling older
depends on the day
age is just a number – so they say

it never is what i think
it will be or should be
a birthday

always reflective
july eighteenth
missing what was
hoping for what can be
trying to be ok with
what is

melancholy
seems to be the
state of affairs lately

the desire for more
is relentless
the soul craves
what is missing
the heart wants
what it wants

the burning
the pull
a primal urge

thirty four years of lessons learned
thirty four years of mistakes made
thirty four years of opportunities seized
thirty four years of doors closed
thirty four years of sadness unearthed
thirty four years of happiness found

hearing the call
nothing left to lose
i am on my way

i have the scars
a map of where i’ve been
to guide my journey