night

i haven’t seen the stars
for weeks
never out past dark
it seems

clouds block my view
on the rare occasion
i find myself
facing opposite of earth

i’ve always gravitated
towards the night
preferred over the day
always

moon and stars and distant planets
magical
mythical
you can see the light in the dark

in college
i took an astronomy course
the awe of it all and my sense of wonder
started to fade
so i left

i defiantly choose mystery
over the science and facts
every time
without question

to me there is no soul in science

many moons ago
in the family car
standing and holding on to the dashboard
i wildly rename the stars
as my grandma witnesses
little me controlling the universe
a symphony conductor without a wand
fearless

now as another year
lived
comes to a close
i search the dark sky
for the light of the north star
to guide my way

instinct fails
my compass is broken
north south east west
it all feels the same
sadly

stumble
fall
reach
grasp
in the dark