Mondy Night Comedy Night

Last night I did my first show at The Beat, a coffee house in uptown, as part of the Monday Night Comedy Night. It was an interesting night all around. It’s a pretty cool space and the producers are really great guys. It’s primarily a younger audience and that is sometimes a challenge since you really have to work hard to win them over. It’s like the open mic night at ACME Comedy Club…all college kids. They let you know in a hurry if they like you or not.

The first performer was a guitar player who did these songs that are kind of improve-esque. The crowd seemed to really enjoy them a great deal. He was a hit. He had a very easy going stage presence. You wanted to like him and you did.

The second performer was horrible. Totally repulsive on every level. The guy reminds me of the comic book guy from “The Simpson’s” not only physically and vocally, but also personality wise. I had seen him perform many times before at Six Ring Circus and he was pretty terrible. I say “was” because he is no longer involved with Six Ring Circus thankfully. I would have probably quit had him and I been on the same team. So his performance last night was reading the letters to “Penthouse” magazine. WTF? Are you kidding me? For real? How is this a good idea in any way, shape, or form? Oh wait…it’s not a good idea at all. It’s a terrible freakin’ idea. Quite possibly one of the worst ideas I have ever heard of. He actually had the letters ripped out of the magazine in folder.

First off…to pull something like this off you really would need to be a likeable, engaging character. Not a creepy, swarmy, ick sort of character. The crowd sat there horrified. I was really close to just walking out. I wanted nothing to do with the show after seeing him perform, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to be the jerk that pulled an ego trip, but wow…it took everything I had in me to stay. Becca wanted to leave. After a few readings of the letters the crowd was done with him. You could hear a pin drop. They even stopped looking at him. Heads were turned off to the side or down towards the floor. People were checking their phones. Two people actually did get up and leave. It was beyond painful. It was literally like watching a death take place before your eyes. Ugh.

Then finally came the blackout and it was over. I just sat there thinking…how in the hell am I going to get up on stage after that? How am I going to win back the audience? How is this even going to work? After the intermission it was my time to hit the stage. I figured just start strong and let the rest of it sort itself out. But, I figured that I did need to comment on what just took place. So I grabbed the mic and said…

“Well, tonight is my first night at the Monday Night Comedy Show and wow is it an interesting roller coaster ride so far. First we had the guy who did some funny songs with his guitar. Then we had the guy with the “I’m too pathetic to ever see a real vagina monologues” and now we are going to do some stand up comedy. Are you ready?”

The crowd went nuts. Thank God. I figured it would go one of two ways…either they would find it funny or they would get mad at me making fun of comic book guy. But, the way I see it…if you willingly get up on stage and want to read pornography out loud to strangers in a coffee shop…then you’re a sitting duck in my eyes. Like shooting fish in a barrel. You made yourself a target. Good luck to you.

My set went really well. I heard a lot of positive things…so that was nice. In the end I’m glad that I stayed, I ended up having a lot of fun despite the horror of comic book guy.

I will be performing there next week. I’m debating about either doing stand up comedy or a dramatic reading of some editorials from “Hustler”. Oh wait…I have common sense. I guess I will just stick to the stand up comedy. Cripes.