i hate mondays

I hate Mondays.

First off, I was tying to do a page over the intercom for the longest time. Every time I would try to page the flippin’ phone would ring off the hook. Then I would hang up the page and go to answer the phone and it would then stop ringing. Finally, after a couple of times and many swear words it dawned on me that I was calling myself. There it is. I was calling myself and getting angry for hanging up before I could answer myself. At that moment I felt pretty dumb and realized that yes, I am nothing more than eyecandy at the front desk. Alli was at my desk when it happened the final time. I thought she was going to double over from laughing. It was beyond stupid.

Second, I completely and totally wiped out at my desk. I was in my chair over by the postage machine and I bent over to pick some paper up off the floor. My desk chair has wheels and flew out from under me and soared across the lobby. In my mind it felt like it was in slow motion. Now I am a big guy, so the reality of it was that I fell fast and furious. I freakin’ crashed hard. I think I dented the wood floor. I landed on my rear end and my elbow (which hurts like crazy). So I was sprawled out on the floor thinking what the hell just happened? Did the building collapse? Was it a terrorist attack? Did I finally die? Then I realized that I was lying on the floor in the lobby behind my desk and that I should probably get up before anyone comes through. The funniest part was the fact that once I crawled up off the floor I had to walk, yes walk, over to my chair. It landed that far from me. The chair was completely upside down with the it’s wheels spinning in the air. Just as I was getting to the chair one of my co-workers walked past, looked at the chair and then looked at me and said “Are you ok, buddy?”. Without even looking at him I just said “Keep walking.” and then went back to picking up my chair.

Now my body hurts. Everything is popping and cracking. Ouch. Only 15 more minutes until I can finally go home.