Dan and I in the KOOL 108 Booth!
"Please Do Not Feed The DJ's" Dan was mad. He was hungry.
Mary performing. Hilarious!
I think Mary was trying to call me. And she wonders why I never pick up. Voicemail!
My good friend Mary was performing stand up comedy on one of the stages there. Mary is one of the funniest people I have ever met. When she and I get going we will just laugh and laugh and laugh. People like that are rare in this world.
Before the show Becca and I stopped by the KOOL 108 broadcast booth to see my friend Dan. I made Dan a sign for the window that said “Please do not feed the DJ’s. Thank you – Management.” I asked him if anyone has ever flashed him while he is sitting in the booth. He said no. I was disappointed. The women at the Minnesota State Fair seem to scream that they are the type of girls that would do “Girls Gone Wild”. Girls with bleached out hair, trashy tattoos, and tank tops with no bras. Alas, no such luck. No flashing…yet.
The stand up comedy show was fantastic except for the moment I was attacked by this crazed grasshopper in the middle of Mary’s act. The creepy insect landed on my lip. I thought someone hit me with something and looked around to see what was going on and then I felt it move. I almost threw up on the spot. I hate grasshoppers. I hate them almost as much as spiders. They are pretty much neck and neck in the race of hate. It took all my strength to not scream like a freakin’ twelve year old girl. No one else seemed to be attacked by deranged insects during the show. As usual…it’s me.
There was this kid sitting next to me on the bench. He was probably six years old or so. He looked like a miniature version of Pedro from “Napoleon Dynamite”. I would laugh every time I looked over at him. His family was sitting way in the back and they seemed a little nervous that he was sitting next to a stranger. I wanted to tell them that it was fine and that I’m not some weird sicko and that I was friends with Mary. But, I decided not to. Instead I figured I would just leave it alone and not even say a word to him. No stranger danger here.
Well, Nicholas (the other performer in the show) told everyone to stand up as part of his act. So we all stood up. Then he said to turn to your left and give the person next to you a shoulder rub. Well…I turn to the left and look down and see this kid standing there. Now there is not a snowball’s chance in hell that I am going to touch this kid. So I stand there with my arms folded on my chest thinking “don’t get arrested” and this kid is looking at me like I am the biggest jerk in the world because I’m not participating. Then Nicholas says for everyone to turn back around and return the favor. So I am rubbing Becca’s shoulders and something catches the corner of my eye. Here this kid is standing behind me with his arms up in the air and moving his fingers. I am panicked. So I am mouthing “don’t touch me” to the kid and praying that his parents don’t start screaming out in Spanish.
After the show I went up to Nicholas and thanked him for putting me in one of the most uncomfortable awkward moments of my life. One surprise after another at the fair!
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