Morning came fast and furious. Another night with no sleep. It’s starting to become an experiment in sleep depravation. I skipped breakfast in order to get a little bit of sleep in. Seize the moments when you can, right? Well Tyler ended up meeting Alec Mapa (Vern from “Desperate Housewives”) at breakfast. Dammit. The one chance I get to sleep and I get screwed over by missing a celebrity sighting. Whatever.
The day’s agenda included Cocoa Beach, the Erasure concert, and Alec Mapa’s stand up comedy show.
Cocoa Beach was a lot of fun. Sun, sand, and waves. Good times. I pretty much marinated my whole body in sunscreen. I know that I am a delicate moonflower that is sun sensitive. No way in hell was I going to burn. Now…Becca…that’s another story. Now, when sitting on an ocean beach under the scorching sun….one doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that you will probably burn to a crisp in a matter of minutes. Me, being the voice of common sense that I am, tried to explain this to her numerous times. Here is a sample of our conversation.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will in a little bit.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will. I just want to get a little color.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will. I just want to go in the water for a little bit first.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I know. I will after I go into the water once more.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: Yeah…in a minute.
**a little while later**
BECCA: OMG. I am burned. I am as red as a lobster.
ME: Becca, you should have put on sunscreen. Now you are burned.
I, no we, heard about Becca’s sunburn for the next 6 days straight. Everyone on the ship heard about Becca’s sunburn. I think she put it in the ship’s newsletter.
Unfortunately, Becca was not the only one with problems at Cocoa Beach. Tyler had some issues with his choice of swimwear and it’s lack of a mesh liner. Apparently the seam of the shorts kept coming in contact with a certain sensitive area south of the waistline. The best advice I had to offer was for him to just hold his junk and keep the seam from coming in contact with his man parts. What can I say? After the sunscreen ordeal I was done being the voice of reason. Much to my shock, Tyler did take my advice…which I did not anticipate him doing. Because as Becca illustrated no one ever listens to me. All I am saying is this…it’s awkward swimming next to someone when they have their hands in there shorts holding on to themselves. Maybe I should have thought of plan B. I’m just saying…
After fun in the sun, Tyler and I headed back to the ship while Becca stayed behind to do a little shopping (I think she headed over to the Cocoa Beach Adult Emporium, but I can’t prove it). While we were waiting for the shuttle bus we saw Becca approaching in the distance. She had put her pants on over her wet swimsuit thus creating a look resembling someone who failed miserably at practicing bladder control. Hilarious. She looked like Fergie did when she wet herself on stage during a concert. No lie. I could not stop laughing. If only I had my camera with me at that moment. Dammit. That would have been a great season’s greeting card. Becca was not amused. A sign of things to come.
The Erasure concert was a blast. I went twice…because I am a super fan. Oh yeah, I am. The first time I was in the front row, the second time I was in the middle of the center section. I went to the first show by myself because Tyler and Becca went to get in line to get good seats for the stand up comedy show. They sang all my favorite songs…”A Little Respect”, “Sometimes”, “I Could Fall In Love With You” and many more. It was fantastic.
After the concert I bolted over to the stand up comedy show. Becca and Tyler scored front row seats. Well done. They also made some new friends with the people next to us. It turned out that one of them, Bob, does the voice of Porky Pig. How crazy is that? Alec was a riot and we laughed like crazy. A good time had by all. After the show we ran back to the other theatre for the second Erasure show. The crowd was much more rowdy, which was fun. It must have been a combination of a later show and the fact that people had more time to booze it up. I ended up dancing like a madman and singing “A Little Respect” with this rough looking lesbian in the row in front of me. I think she thought I was a chick. I get mistaken for a lesbian quite often. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Apparently I got a killer hot lesbian look about me. Who knew? But we rocked it out anyways. Once the show was over the crowd went apeshit demanding an encore. Erasure never returned to the stage despite the chanting of 1,100 people. When the cruise ship director Simon (think of a closeted Australian male version of Julie from the “Loveboat”) to tell everyone the show was over, I thought there was going to be a freakin’ riot. The mob of angry gays and lesbians started to throw their glow sticks at the stage and boo and hiss. In a way it was really, really, really funny. It was the sort of angry mob that would say “Ooooo…I’m so gosh darn angry, I could spit nails. Boo. Hiss. You stink, Mr. Man” They quickly closed the curtains as more glow sticks were hurled at Simon’s head. Hilarious.
After some more food and drinks we headed back to the cabin for the night. Ahh, yes…my favorite part of the day...getting ready for bed knowing that I will be laying there, looking at the ceiling for hours while I listen to the two of them sawing logs all night long.
*insert loud snoring sound here*
The day’s agenda included Cocoa Beach, the Erasure concert, and Alec Mapa’s stand up comedy show.
Cocoa Beach was a lot of fun. Sun, sand, and waves. Good times. I pretty much marinated my whole body in sunscreen. I know that I am a delicate moonflower that is sun sensitive. No way in hell was I going to burn. Now…Becca…that’s another story. Now, when sitting on an ocean beach under the scorching sun….one doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that you will probably burn to a crisp in a matter of minutes. Me, being the voice of common sense that I am, tried to explain this to her numerous times. Here is a sample of our conversation.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will in a little bit.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will. I just want to get a little color.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I will. I just want to go in the water for a little bit first.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: I know. I will after I go into the water once more.
ME: Becca, put on sunscreen. You are going to burn.
BECCA: Yeah…in a minute.
**a little while later**
BECCA: OMG. I am burned. I am as red as a lobster.
ME: Becca, you should have put on sunscreen. Now you are burned.
I, no we, heard about Becca’s sunburn for the next 6 days straight. Everyone on the ship heard about Becca’s sunburn. I think she put it in the ship’s newsletter.
Unfortunately, Becca was not the only one with problems at Cocoa Beach. Tyler had some issues with his choice of swimwear and it’s lack of a mesh liner. Apparently the seam of the shorts kept coming in contact with a certain sensitive area south of the waistline. The best advice I had to offer was for him to just hold his junk and keep the seam from coming in contact with his man parts. What can I say? After the sunscreen ordeal I was done being the voice of reason. Much to my shock, Tyler did take my advice…which I did not anticipate him doing. Because as Becca illustrated no one ever listens to me. All I am saying is this…it’s awkward swimming next to someone when they have their hands in there shorts holding on to themselves. Maybe I should have thought of plan B. I’m just saying…
After fun in the sun, Tyler and I headed back to the ship while Becca stayed behind to do a little shopping (I think she headed over to the Cocoa Beach Adult Emporium, but I can’t prove it). While we were waiting for the shuttle bus we saw Becca approaching in the distance. She had put her pants on over her wet swimsuit thus creating a look resembling someone who failed miserably at practicing bladder control. Hilarious. She looked like Fergie did when she wet herself on stage during a concert. No lie. I could not stop laughing. If only I had my camera with me at that moment. Dammit. That would have been a great season’s greeting card. Becca was not amused. A sign of things to come.
The Erasure concert was a blast. I went twice…because I am a super fan. Oh yeah, I am. The first time I was in the front row, the second time I was in the middle of the center section. I went to the first show by myself because Tyler and Becca went to get in line to get good seats for the stand up comedy show. They sang all my favorite songs…”A Little Respect”, “Sometimes”, “I Could Fall In Love With You” and many more. It was fantastic.
After the concert I bolted over to the stand up comedy show. Becca and Tyler scored front row seats. Well done. They also made some new friends with the people next to us. It turned out that one of them, Bob, does the voice of Porky Pig. How crazy is that? Alec was a riot and we laughed like crazy. A good time had by all. After the show we ran back to the other theatre for the second Erasure show. The crowd was much more rowdy, which was fun. It must have been a combination of a later show and the fact that people had more time to booze it up. I ended up dancing like a madman and singing “A Little Respect” with this rough looking lesbian in the row in front of me. I think she thought I was a chick. I get mistaken for a lesbian quite often. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Apparently I got a killer hot lesbian look about me. Who knew? But we rocked it out anyways. Once the show was over the crowd went apeshit demanding an encore. Erasure never returned to the stage despite the chanting of 1,100 people. When the cruise ship director Simon (think of a closeted Australian male version of Julie from the “Loveboat”) to tell everyone the show was over, I thought there was going to be a freakin’ riot. The mob of angry gays and lesbians started to throw their glow sticks at the stage and boo and hiss. In a way it was really, really, really funny. It was the sort of angry mob that would say “Ooooo…I’m so gosh darn angry, I could spit nails. Boo. Hiss. You stink, Mr. Man” They quickly closed the curtains as more glow sticks were hurled at Simon’s head. Hilarious.
After some more food and drinks we headed back to the cabin for the night. Ahh, yes…my favorite part of the day...getting ready for bed knowing that I will be laying there, looking at the ceiling for hours while I listen to the two of them sawing logs all night long.
*insert loud snoring sound here*
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