Seen at the Deli

On Friday I was down at the deli on the ground floor in the building I work in. It’s super expensive…nothing like giving your right arm for a sandwich, but sometimes you just give in and pay for the convenience.

As I walked in I noticed this woman standing in line to pay. She lit up when she saw me. A grin from ear to ear. Immediately I knew what was coming. I tried not to look at her and pretended not to notice. I could tell she wanted to talk to me. As I tried to quickly walk past her she blurted out “I think you’re really talented.” I stopped and turned back to her and said “I’m sorry, but I’m not Crisco.” I get it all the freakin’ time. I work for Clear Channel and we have seven radio stations. One of which is KDWB. Crisco is one of the sidekicks on the Dave Ryan Morning Show. Basically he is the guy they send out to do all the really stupid stuff. One of his more infamous stunts was eating cheese off of someone’s ass crack. Of all the people in the world to confuse me with, why do I need to be mistaken for a guy who eats cheese off of people’s asses? Christ. Anyways…we are both big guys and we do kinda look alike in a weird way, so it happens all the time. After working here for two years I’m used to it. The woman looks at me and says “I know that. I’ve seen you perform stand up a few times and I think you are hilarious.” I could have died on the spot. I felt like such a jackass. Seriously. But, to be honest, being recognized at D. Brien’s Deli for my stand up comedy is pretty weird. So we talked for a few minutes and I explained how I’m always mistaken for Crisco and how people don’t believe that I’m not him and we laughed about it. Then as I was walking away she was telling the people she was with how funny I am and totally talking me up. Sweet. So I went and stood by the coffee machines so I could overhear her. It was awkward because I don’t drink coffee.

She was really nice and if she is reading this by chance…thank you for saying hi. It made my day. Stand up comedy is hard and many times a performer becomes filled with self doubt and moments like that keep you going. Thank you.

So there it is. My first truly “out of the blue recognized by a fan in public moment” and I blew it. Dammit.