It’s the last full day on the ship and I am blown away by how quickly the week has gone. I am also a little delirious from getting about a total of 5 hours of sleep this whole week. I think the only thing that kept me going and prevented me from having a total fit was the fact that this was a trip of a lifetime and I was convinced that I was going to have a good time, come hell or high water.
After breakfast we went to the voice over class that Bob Bergen was teaching. Bob is the voice of Porky the Pig and other characters such as Tweety and Marvin the Martian. We had met Bob at Alec Mapa’s stand up comedy show and he’s a really great guy. Becca got up and did a hilarious voice as one of the cartoon characters. I don’t remember the name, but she was this sort of German / Austrian maid for this little monster kid. She really rocked it out. It was hysterical. Becca is great at doing funny voices and could seriously have a career doing voice-over work if she wanted to. Bob was pretty impressed with her and she was the hit of the class. Ross joined us for the class for a little bit but he sadly missed Becca’s performance. After class we ran into Susan Powter. I asked her if I could get a picture with her. She looked at me and said “I’d be offended if you didn’t.” So we took the photo. Scary. Honestly I think Susan had a little bit of a crush on me. I think she looked at me as her greatest test ever and she was definitely up to the challenge.
We headed to lunch and all hung out for a little while longer. After lunch, we all made plans to have a final dinner together that night at the Venation and then to go and see the final show “Annie the Concert” starring Andrea McArdle as Annie and Rosie as Miss Hannigan. On our way back to the room we hit the chocolate buffet. I have never seen so much chocolate in my entire life. Cake after cake after cake. Chocolate everywhere. It was crazy. It was decadent. It was heaven. Looking back I am shocked that I did not gain weight on this trip. Some how I never gained a pound. Insane. It must have been the yoga.
We (Becca, Tyler, Scott, Bob, Ross, his mom, and I) all met at the Venation and dinner was a riot. The food was good and the conversation was great. Many laughs were shared and it was so nice to just sit and talk and enjoy everyone’s crazy stories. I honestly don’t do that enough in real life. I need to find the time to reconnect with people and just be with them and not have to be doing anything big or insane. A simple conversation can go a long way in a friendship. Everyone ordered a great dessert, but Ross ended up getting one of the worst tasting and looking desserts I have ever seen in my life. Ross passed it around so everyone could share in the disappointment. Misery does love company.
After dinner we left to ready for the evening show and met later at the doors and waited in line. We shot up to the balcony to get some great seats for the show. “Annie the Concert” was unbelievable. It was incredible. To see Andrea reprise the role that made her a star was phenomenal and Rosie brought the house down as Miss Hannigan. A roaring standing ovation from the audience closed the show. As the lights stayed dark a screen was lowered and we were treated to a home movie that Rosie had made of the trip. It was a wonderful recap on a week of amazing memories and it started to sink in that the cruise was coming to an end.
We decided to visit one of our familiar haunts…yes, you guessed it, the Dazzles Lounge for karaoke. We spent the night laughing at Ed and his obsession over the XM Radio 70’s station. Ross sang “That’s What Friends Are For”, Becca hit the mic with “Brandy”, and Tyler rocked out Nsync’s “Bye Bye Bye”. I got up and joined Ed and his family on a rousing rendition of “Sugar, Sugar”. Ok, I lip-synced…but whatever. Don’t judge me, I’m not a singer nor do I pretend to be one. After hours of karaoke, we hit the piano bar and caught some improvised songs by Andrea McArdle and the other Broadway performers. After more drinks at the piano bar we headed up to Spinnaker’s Lounge. Now, at this point, I clearly had too much to drink. Did anyone cut me off? Oh no…because a drunk Jason is a fun Jason, right? Ugh. There are things I remember. There are things I don’t remember. There are things I wish I didn’t remember. And, most importantly there are things I pray that no one remembers. Now I’m not a sloppy drunk or anything. I am just a smartass drunk and I completely mess with people. After hours of drinking Tyler wanted to crash but I was still ready to rock the night. I walked with him back to the room and along the way I sang “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from the musical “Dreamgirls”. Yes, nothing is sexier then seeing a drunk, overweight, white guy singing the strong black woman anthem of all time. Some people did think Jennifer Hudson was on board and were shocked to see that it was just me. I also stopped to do some impressive dance shows for the security cameras. I am just waiting to see the footage of that pop up on youtube. Tick tock…the clock is ticking, it’s just a matter of time. Ugh.
After trying to wake up Becca and get her to come and party (which was useless. It was like trying to wake a bear up from hibernation.) I ventured out on my own after making a promise to her and Tyler to stay away from the railings on the promenade. Could you imagine? Schommer overboard! Well, I decided to go and write some emails. Some people are drunk dialers, I am a drunk emailer.
While sending drunken emails (sorry if you got one), this woman races past me in a rage. I yelled out to her to see what her problem was. Apparently she was with Sharon Glese and Sharon was having some computer problems and they weren’t getting resolved. The front desk was telling her that there was no computers working on the ship at that time and that there was no way for her to get into her email account. I looked at the woman and told her that I was in my email account and that my computer was just fine. That set her off even more. I then told her that if Sharon wanted to, she could come and use my computer account. She disappeared in flurry of motion and I went back to emailing. Next thing I know I see Sharon Glese hauling ass towards me. I had flashbacks to “Cagney and Lacey” when Cagney was making a bust. A sight I never thought I would see in real life. But, clearly this was the ship of dreams that come true. I got up and talked to her and told her how much I enjoyed her shows and then I helped her get into her email account. All the while, mind you, I am hammered. HAMMERED. Sharon then told me that she is on the new show “Burn Notice” and that she plays a supporting character of the crazy mother. I offered to write angry letters to the producers to get her more screen time. She encouraged me to do so. Then none of the pens would work because the tabletops were an odd texture. Sharon kept saying the tabletops were like cobblestone and she was upset because she needed to write down the phone number of the creators of “Queer as Folk” for their lunch meeting the next day. The only pen I could find was attached to a giant prize entry form box, so I just grabbed it and hauled the whole thing over to her. She just laughed but was happy to finally have a pen that worked. I had my picture taken with her and she hugged me and thanked me for helping her out and said that I was her saving grace. Sweet, huh?
Eventually I wandered back to the cabin. I remember looking out the window and seeing the sun coming up over the ocean and I thinking to myself “I am screwed. Today is going to suck big time.”
After breakfast we went to the voice over class that Bob Bergen was teaching. Bob is the voice of Porky the Pig and other characters such as Tweety and Marvin the Martian. We had met Bob at Alec Mapa’s stand up comedy show and he’s a really great guy. Becca got up and did a hilarious voice as one of the cartoon characters. I don’t remember the name, but she was this sort of German / Austrian maid for this little monster kid. She really rocked it out. It was hysterical. Becca is great at doing funny voices and could seriously have a career doing voice-over work if she wanted to. Bob was pretty impressed with her and she was the hit of the class. Ross joined us for the class for a little bit but he sadly missed Becca’s performance. After class we ran into Susan Powter. I asked her if I could get a picture with her. She looked at me and said “I’d be offended if you didn’t.” So we took the photo. Scary. Honestly I think Susan had a little bit of a crush on me. I think she looked at me as her greatest test ever and she was definitely up to the challenge.
We headed to lunch and all hung out for a little while longer. After lunch, we all made plans to have a final dinner together that night at the Venation and then to go and see the final show “Annie the Concert” starring Andrea McArdle as Annie and Rosie as Miss Hannigan. On our way back to the room we hit the chocolate buffet. I have never seen so much chocolate in my entire life. Cake after cake after cake. Chocolate everywhere. It was crazy. It was decadent. It was heaven. Looking back I am shocked that I did not gain weight on this trip. Some how I never gained a pound. Insane. It must have been the yoga.
We (Becca, Tyler, Scott, Bob, Ross, his mom, and I) all met at the Venation and dinner was a riot. The food was good and the conversation was great. Many laughs were shared and it was so nice to just sit and talk and enjoy everyone’s crazy stories. I honestly don’t do that enough in real life. I need to find the time to reconnect with people and just be with them and not have to be doing anything big or insane. A simple conversation can go a long way in a friendship. Everyone ordered a great dessert, but Ross ended up getting one of the worst tasting and looking desserts I have ever seen in my life. Ross passed it around so everyone could share in the disappointment. Misery does love company.
After dinner we left to ready for the evening show and met later at the doors and waited in line. We shot up to the balcony to get some great seats for the show. “Annie the Concert” was unbelievable. It was incredible. To see Andrea reprise the role that made her a star was phenomenal and Rosie brought the house down as Miss Hannigan. A roaring standing ovation from the audience closed the show. As the lights stayed dark a screen was lowered and we were treated to a home movie that Rosie had made of the trip. It was a wonderful recap on a week of amazing memories and it started to sink in that the cruise was coming to an end.
We decided to visit one of our familiar haunts…yes, you guessed it, the Dazzles Lounge for karaoke. We spent the night laughing at Ed and his obsession over the XM Radio 70’s station. Ross sang “That’s What Friends Are For”, Becca hit the mic with “Brandy”, and Tyler rocked out Nsync’s “Bye Bye Bye”. I got up and joined Ed and his family on a rousing rendition of “Sugar, Sugar”. Ok, I lip-synced…but whatever. Don’t judge me, I’m not a singer nor do I pretend to be one. After hours of karaoke, we hit the piano bar and caught some improvised songs by Andrea McArdle and the other Broadway performers. After more drinks at the piano bar we headed up to Spinnaker’s Lounge. Now, at this point, I clearly had too much to drink. Did anyone cut me off? Oh no…because a drunk Jason is a fun Jason, right? Ugh. There are things I remember. There are things I don’t remember. There are things I wish I didn’t remember. And, most importantly there are things I pray that no one remembers. Now I’m not a sloppy drunk or anything. I am just a smartass drunk and I completely mess with people. After hours of drinking Tyler wanted to crash but I was still ready to rock the night. I walked with him back to the room and along the way I sang “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from the musical “Dreamgirls”. Yes, nothing is sexier then seeing a drunk, overweight, white guy singing the strong black woman anthem of all time. Some people did think Jennifer Hudson was on board and were shocked to see that it was just me. I also stopped to do some impressive dance shows for the security cameras. I am just waiting to see the footage of that pop up on youtube. Tick tock…the clock is ticking, it’s just a matter of time. Ugh.
After trying to wake up Becca and get her to come and party (which was useless. It was like trying to wake a bear up from hibernation.) I ventured out on my own after making a promise to her and Tyler to stay away from the railings on the promenade. Could you imagine? Schommer overboard! Well, I decided to go and write some emails. Some people are drunk dialers, I am a drunk emailer.
While sending drunken emails (sorry if you got one), this woman races past me in a rage. I yelled out to her to see what her problem was. Apparently she was with Sharon Glese and Sharon was having some computer problems and they weren’t getting resolved. The front desk was telling her that there was no computers working on the ship at that time and that there was no way for her to get into her email account. I looked at the woman and told her that I was in my email account and that my computer was just fine. That set her off even more. I then told her that if Sharon wanted to, she could come and use my computer account. She disappeared in flurry of motion and I went back to emailing. Next thing I know I see Sharon Glese hauling ass towards me. I had flashbacks to “Cagney and Lacey” when Cagney was making a bust. A sight I never thought I would see in real life. But, clearly this was the ship of dreams that come true. I got up and talked to her and told her how much I enjoyed her shows and then I helped her get into her email account. All the while, mind you, I am hammered. HAMMERED. Sharon then told me that she is on the new show “Burn Notice” and that she plays a supporting character of the crazy mother. I offered to write angry letters to the producers to get her more screen time. She encouraged me to do so. Then none of the pens would work because the tabletops were an odd texture. Sharon kept saying the tabletops were like cobblestone and she was upset because she needed to write down the phone number of the creators of “Queer as Folk” for their lunch meeting the next day. The only pen I could find was attached to a giant prize entry form box, so I just grabbed it and hauled the whole thing over to her. She just laughed but was happy to finally have a pen that worked. I had my picture taken with her and she hugged me and thanked me for helping her out and said that I was her saving grace. Sweet, huh?
Eventually I wandered back to the cabin. I remember looking out the window and seeing the sun coming up over the ocean and I thinking to myself “I am screwed. Today is going to suck big time.”
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