Wake Up!

I “heart” Hilary Duff. There I said it. I own it. I cannot be given crap about it anymore.

Yes I bought Hilary Duff’s new CD “Most Wanted” on the day it was released. Granted, I bought it for one song, but I bought it nonetheless. And I have actually grown to like a few of the songs.

I went to Media Play and headed to the “D” section and found that I had two options. The regular CD or the special limited edition with bonus songs and collector cards. I decided on the limited edition. Crazy, I know. I carried the CD with the cover facing my palm, hiding the fact that it was a Hilary Duff CD. I got up to the counter and I put it down, face down. The cashier looked at the CD, looked at me and looked back at the CD. She finally squinted her eye and said “Hilary Duff. You are buying a Hilary Duff CD?” I looked at her and panicked. I immediately felt like an old pervert. How did I become that weird guy that everyone always whispered about? UGH! So I looked at her and said “Yeah, it’s not for me. It’s for my niece.” She looked at me, suspiciously, and said “oh how old is she?” I played it cool. I said “8 years old”. Now I have no idea if an eight year old kid is into music or not…but I committed to it. The cashier said, in a tone of suspicion, “and she wants the collector’s edition?” I then said “oh yeah, she’s totally into the whole Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan thing. Big time. I personally don’t get it…but whatever”. Playing it cool. The cashier just looked at me and then finally said “you want a bag?” Yes, I want a bag. A brown, unmarked bag for my dirty purchase. Ugh. I don’t know if she bought it or not…but it wasn’t a total lie. I do have a niece. She isn’t 8 years old though. She is 18 months. And she does like music…she just has no clue who Hilary or Lindsay are. Sometimes a bunch of half truths can add up and make a whole truth. Right?

So I love the song “Wake Up”. I have no idea why. I just do. I wish I had a good excuse why, but I don’t. Sometimes I don’t understand myself. It is like I have an alien in my brain. I just chalk it up to being a creative genius and a man ahead of my time. It helps me sleep at night, if I believe I am on the genius side of the line rather than the lunatic side.

I was listening to the song in my car the other week. Driving through town I had the windows down because it was a nice day and the radio was cranked up. Not fully realizing, while waiting at a red light, that I was belting out these choice lyrics in all my terrible off-key glory….

Give me a dance floor
Give me a DJ
Play me a record
Forget what they say
Cause I need to go
Need to getaway tonight

I put my makeup on a Saturday night
I try to make it happen
Try to make it all right
I know I make mistakes
I'm living life day to day
It's never really easy but it's ok

I wasn’t paying attention to what I was singing…honestly I was just singing. I would not knowingly sing "I put my makeup on a Saturday night". Really I wouldn't. I do have to draw a line somewhere. Anyways, I then looked over and there are three rough looking rednecks in a pickup truck staring at me. Thank God I was making a left turn and they were turning right. Whew! Close call. I don’t think they fully appreciated the musical genius that Hilary is.

Now I only sing along if I have the windows up and doors locked. Safety first when it comes to Ms. Duff. And most importantly, I just hum along to the "makeup on a Saturday night" line. It's just not worth running the risk of a serious ass-kicking. Trust me.

Wake up, wake up
On a Saturday night
Could be New York
Maybe Hollywood and Vine
London, Paris maybe Tokyo
There's something going on anywhere I go
Tonight
Tonight
Yeah, tonight

The city's restless
It's all around me
People in motion
Sick of all the same routines
And they need to go
They need to get away
Tonight