Got Milk? A true story…

Every night when I go to bed I pray to God and talk to my mom. The past week or so has been extremely hard and I have been asking her to give me a sign that she is still with us. I told her to make the sign as clear as possible and not something that I could easily mistake. Clear and obvious.

I think she gave me a sign. I think.

Today I had to do a million errands in Little Falls, which is about 30 miles from St. Cloud where I am staying with my sister. After running errands for a couple of hours the only thing I had left to do was drop off the approved rendering for her tombstone at Falls Granite on my way back to St. Cloud. Falls Granite is out of town on the way to St. Cloud. I dropped off the rendering and completed the order for her tombstone. As I was pulling out back on to the highway I felt compelled to go back to Little Falls for some reason. So I went. Not sure why, I had just come from there and I really had nothing left to do there. But I went. Again…I seem to float nowadays in which ever direction the wind is blowing. The wind blew back to Little Falls, so back I went.

On my way back to Little Falls I called my sister because I remembered that she had said that morning that she was going to go grocery shopping. I called her to remind her to grab a gallon of 2% milk (the only kind I drink) because it was probably cheaper at Cub Foods than at Byerly’s. She wasn’t planning on going to Cub, she was heading to Byerly’s. So I told her forget it and I will get it when I stopped to get something for supper when I was back in St. Cloud. It was a weird conversation…so much commotion over a gallon of milk.

So as I was exiting off of the highway back into town and I had no idea what I was doing there or what to even do. So I decided to go to Coborns, the town’s grocery store. I was kind of hungry so I figured I would get something to eat. Maybe get a box of crackers, cookies…something, anything…to justify my coming all the way back to Little Falls.

I pull into the parking lot and find a space to park. It was the only open space in the row. I remember pulling up along side an old brown car on my driver’s side. I remember it because it had a ton of bumper stickers on it and I figured that was the only thing still holding it together. I get out and head into the store.

After being the in store for about 2 minutes I got really upset. I started thinking about my mom and how we always went to Coborns together. We went all the time. All the time. My step-dad hates to shop so he would never go grocery shopping with her. I did. We would laugh and make jokes about everything. I am positive that my mom was pretty much the only person in the world who could make the grocery store a fun place to be. So the more I remembered the more upset I got and in about two seconds I was crying and missing her and mad that I came back to town and then crying some more. I was a complete mess. I freaked out and just left the store without buying anything. Coming back to town was a huge mistake. I was in the store for a total of not more than 10 to 15 minutes.

I went back to my car and there was a cart right along side of my driver’s door. Literally right along side of it. I looked at the cart and was immediately annoyed. Can’t people ever return the carts to the cart corral? That is why they are there…to place carts in…not because they are an interesting landmark to have in a parking lot. I was annoyed, then I looked down in the cart and in it was sitting a gallon of Kemp’s 2% Select Milk. I am not lying. I am not joking. I am dead serious. So I looked around thinking someone left it there by mistake when they loaded their groceries in their car. Then I realized that the car that was next to me on that side was the same car when I got there. The brown car with all the bumper stickers. Still there…had not moved. The cart was between my car and the brown car.

I just stood there looking around thinking it was all pretty bizarre.

I got in the car and called a friend and told her what happened. Told her the whole story. I told her everything that happened and that I thought it was a sign from my mom. She agreed it was pretty strange and she thought it was a sign from my mom as well.

Then I started the car and left. I felt bad about leaving the milk. Really, really bad. I felt like I should have taken the milk with me. But, it wasn’t technically my milk. I did not pay for it. But, maybe it was a sign from my mom. Granted an odd sign. But, if you knew my mom, it is totally something she would do. She had a thing about me and milk. She was always concerned about me not having milk. My step-dad would only drink 1% milk. I would only drink 2%. No big deal. I just bought my own milk. Every time…and I do mean EVERY TIME we went to the store she told me to check the fridge and see if I need milk. When I had to go the cities for something I would call on my way back home to see if she needed something from town as I passed through, again she would tell me to pick up milk. She always made sure I had milk. And it had to be the Select kind of milk. She did not want any of us to have the kind of milk with the added hormones or whatever is in it.

Once in high school I was busy with school, had play practice every night and would run with friends in my free time. I was not home much. One night when I came home late I was hungry and went to the fridge to find something to eat. I opened the door and my mom had put my photograph on all the milk cartons with a note that said “Missing Child. If you see him tell him to come home soon because his mom misses him and loves him” I think I still have it somewhere, packed away. I should look for it. Anyways…I got the message and was home more often after that. So there has always been this great attention on milk.

After driving around for a while, crying and missing my mom, I decided that I should have taken the milk and I went back to the parking lot. If it was still there I was going to take it. If not, no bid deal. It was still there. All the cars around the cart and milk are different though. Clearly everyone has come and gone and either not noticed the milk or did not care about the milk. So I took it. I took the gallon of Kemps 2% Select Milk. I put it in my backseat and drove away. Not thinking about what I would do with the milk now.

I called my sister. She thought I was crazy and that I should have left the milk alone. I thought she was crazy. Another conversation with her about milk that too much commotion.

I did not know what to do. So I went to the cemetery. No lie. I drove out to the cemetery in the rain with a gallon of milk in my backseat that appeared in a cart outside of my driver’s door. While at the cemetery I was thinking about my mom and about life. I started to remember about when we were little and she was a divorced single mom trying to make ends meet because she could not count on my dad for support. I remembered the times when she simply had no money and she had to literally dig for change around the house to get a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Sad but true. She always found a way to feed us, we never went hungry. But, I know there were times she did. Looking back now, I think she went hungry many times. She went without so her kids could have. She always put us first, never herself. Never. Then I started to think that maybe the milk was forgotten by someone who is going without. Maybe it belongs to a single mother who had to count her change to buy. Maybe it belonged to someone who was just like she was. That upset me a great deal as well.

So I head back to the car, crying in the rain, and I go back to Coborn’s. I get out of the car and get the milk from the backseat and walk into the store and go to the courtesy desk. Which in all honesty…I don’t know why it is called a courtesy desk…the ladies who work the counter are the farthest thing from courteous. Before I can even say a word the cashier takes the gallon of milk and starts to ring it up. I tell her that I am not buying the milk, but that someone probably accidentally left it in a cart in the parking lot. She looks at me as if I have two heads and asks me to repeat myself. I do. She gives me a puzzled look and is gone with the milk. Done deal. I returned the milk. It was the right thing to do. After 45 minutes of discovering the milk, leaving the milk, taking the milk, going to the cemetery and returning the milk…the saga was over.

So there it is…a sign from her? Who knows for sure? I like to think it was, despite what anyone has to say. The whole thing was so bizarre. Why did I go back to Little Falls when I was already on my way to St. Cloud? Why did I decide to go to Coborn’s of all places? Why did I randomly pick that row of parking spaces? Why? In my 30 years of life I have never had anyone leave behind groceries in a cart next to my car. Although at Coborns, many years ago, someone once did dump off a puppy and it’s food, toys, dishes, shampoo, collar, leash and medicine in my backseat while I was getting stuff for supper. But, that is a whole different story for another time. So dogs…yes…groceries…no. And if it had been anything other than milk, I might not have even thought anything of it. Had it been pork chops, carrots or bread I would have never thought twice about it. But the fact that my mom was always so concerned about me and milk and I had just had that bizarre conversation with my sister minutes before finding it, and even stranger, no cars had come and gone around me…all seemed to add up to something more. All too much of a coincidence for it to really be a coincidence. I think it was a sign. At least I hope it is a sign and I am not losing my mind for real. But, in the end, even if it really wasn’t a sign from her, it made me think of her and remember some of the things she did for us growing up. I remember the times she gave up so much so we could have. And most importantly…I felt connected to her again…if only for a little bit.

So there it is…the soon to be infamous “milk incident of 2005”.

And to my mom…all I say is…

Thanks for the milk mom. I honestly don’t think I will ever see milk again and not think of you. But most importantly thank you mom for all you gave up so we could have. I love you…wherever you are. And keep the signs coming, we will all be watching.